Manager Rituals: Expectations Exchange, Contract Check-In, Friction Review

What this is

The book's three manager rituals "that surface and align expectations before they create performance issues": the Expectations Exchange (15 minutes, at the start of a working relationship or significant project), the Contract Check-In (5 minutes added to regular 1:1s) and the Friction Review (a monthly team practice). Each has a fixed set of prompts. This asset gives them exactly as the book does.

Use when / Do not use when

• Use at the start of a new working relationship or project (Exchange), in recurring 1:1s (Check-In), and in a monthly team meeting (Review).
• The book says these practices are "not just nice-to-have conversations. They're essential infrastructure for sustainable performance."
• Do not replace the book's sentence stems with a different structure and call it the Expectations Exchange.

The Instrument

1. The Expectations Exchange

When: "at the start of any new working relationship or significant project." Length: "simple 15-minute conversation." Each person completes the sentence:

• "I do my best work when..." (focusing on their personal work conditions)
• "I struggle when..." (identifying their performance friction points)
• "I assume you expect me to..." (surfacing implicit contracts)

The book's reason: "This exchange often reveals critical misalignments before they impact performance." Illustration (summarized): a new team member read "end of day" deadlines as 5:00 PM; the leader meant before the next morning's meetings. A simple clarification prevented what would have looked like a pattern of missed deadlines. (Book illustration, unverified, not for ROI or proof claims.)

2. The Contract Check-In

When: "a five-minute addition to regular 1:1 meetings." It asks, verbatim:

• "Have any of our working agreements changed since we last met?"
• "Are there new expectations I should be aware of?"
• "Is anything about how we're working creating friction for you?"

The book's reason: "These questions normalize the ongoing negotiation of emotional contracts rather than treating them as fixed agreements." Illustration (summarized): a sales leader found that seasonal pressures were creating temporary contract shifts that, left unacknowledged, looked like performance inconsistency.

3. The Friction Review

When: "monthly team practice." The team asks, verbatim:

• "Where are we spending emotional energy that could be directed toward the work itself?"
• "What unwritten rules are making our work harder than it needs to be?"
• "What working agreements would reduce this friction?"

Illustration (summarized): a technology team found that an "always be available" culture created anxiety and attention fragmentation. They set response-time parameters based on message urgency. The book reports less stress and more responsiveness for truly important matters. (Book illustration, unverified, not for ROI or proof claims.)

How the three fit (book)

The Exchange starts the contract conversation, the Check-In keeps it alive in routine meetings, and the Friction Review looks at the whole team's unwritten rules. The book's Days 6-10 plan lists "Initiate explicit conversations about expectations using the Expectations Exchange" and "Implement regular Contract Check-Ins to surface evolving agreements." The Friction Review is not listed in that plan.

How to run it (Performance Lab suggested practice)

1. Before the first Exchange, the manager completes the three stems for themself.
2. In the Exchange, each person completes the three stems out loud in turn; the other person listens and asks only for clarification. Note anything either person did not know.
3. Where an answer to "I assume you expect me to..." differs from what the other person expects, state the difference in plain words and agree what will happen.
4. In 1:1s, ask the three Check-In questions at the end or beginning and write down any change.
5. In the Friction Review, collect answers to the first prompt silently, then discuss the second and third. Record the agreements the team chooses.
6. Bring recurring themes to the Contract Clarity Canvas, under the dimension they belong to.

Record sheet (Performance Lab suggested practice)

Expectations Exchange Date: ______ With: ______

Contract Check-In log

Friction Review Month: ______ Where emotional energy goes: ______ Unwritten rules: ______ Agreements chosen: ______